Thursday, May 21

I will never be popular. :)

I'll admit it. 
I am loooooving being home. I thought it was going to be a horrible transition like last summer (going from no curfew, doing whatever the hell I wanted at any time I wanted and all of my friends living walking distance from me, to having to be home no later than 1, all my friends living no less than 30 minutes away, and having to tell at least 2 people where I was going every night). But I am a sophomore now. And I know things now. Like how to make the switch from college time to I-am-the-baby-coming-home time. I feel so knowledgeable. 
I was talking to my brother about how differently we both treat our parents now that we're "grown-ups". My brother a lot more so because he's an old man (almost 23. i mean ... is ANYONE that old?) and has been living at home since january. 
It amazes me how much I didn't think of my parents as real people with real lives -that didn't revolve around mine- until the end of last semester. They do things with out me there. They travel. They paint rooms. They party, in an old person, slow, quiet way. They did those things before I was around. It's crazy, if you've never thought of your parents that way before it's quite an eye opener. Or was for me.
That conversation got me thinking about YouTube, as my normal life has more and more often lead me to recently, and about how we idolize the people we follow, even if we've met them. I know that somewhere deep down I know that the people I watch on the Tube are normal people. With mostly normal lives. But I can't help but idolize them and their well edited, highly watched and commented videos. They're like the popular kids from high school... I always admired them; but never wanted to be one, band drama was enough for me. While I was popular (or at least well known) in band, I never had any social ambitions beyond that. I was friendly with several "popular" kids (or at least my high school's equivalent of popular), but never wanted to be in the school lime light. It was way too much work. Seriously.
But for the first time in my adult life, I want to be popular. I want strangers to watch my videos, to think i'm awesome or funny or weird or anything. I think I just want people to know I exist. Which sounds much more sad than it actually is. But I don't want to become my videos. I feel like some users ARE their videos. I couldn't imagine them outside that wonderfully anonymous rectangle. Like CuteWithChris, or CommunityChannel, WhatTheBuck or DisneyKid1... people that witty and attractive couldn't possibly exist in real life. 
Maybe it's because there aren't any super famous YouTubers from my area... so it's not me. But, I still want to be famous on YouTube. I don't know why. It won't do anything for me. I still don't like it when my friends find out about my YouTube account. It's weird. I'm probably not cut out to be popular on the tubez. oh well.

the good: American Dad, Torchwood and Glee. EVERYONE GO WATCH GLEE ON HULU. it's amazing. . . . . god having cable again is AWEEEESOME.
the bad: Adam Lambert didn't win American Idol. I love him. 
the ugly: i have to unpack ALL of my crap from school. :(

Pretty, Pretty Rainbows, Kate.

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